Wow. 1+yr since I last blogged. I noe nobody will even read it. I blog becoz I wanna hav a memory of it.
Okay current love life status: in a relationship (smooth sailing? I dunno) we seldom meet coz I hav exam n studies commitment n he wan to upgrade himself so he enrolled in some courses so our meet up is getting less frequent. Last time I used to whine n lose my temper on why we getting lesser meet ups bt now im completely okay wif it. I noe its not a good sign bt well, life goes on. I wont forgo the things I wan to do jus for him n tis applies to him too. So ya, life goes on. Entering into 22nd mth, my current reaction "ohh". Kinda pathetic I noe. Haha Sometimes I had a really bad thinking *sometimes it might bet better if we part our ways* Sometimes tis tot already flash or came thru my mind. Bt is sometimes onli lahhh. Of coz sometimes I also wish to hav lovey dovey days lik those in the past. Bt see how lahh. Haha. He is still someone special in my heart lah :)
Current employment status: okay I gt a job in delifrance as a qa since June'14. Ya a qa job. Haha. As mentioned in my previous blog post, I always wanted to try working in a food industry. Ya im in now. Worked for almost a yr n im okay wif it. Jus tat there are still some amazing actors n gossipers office, the usual irritating ppl. Its really difficult for me to poker face de person I dislike so sometimes it gets abit tiring facing those ppl. On a bright side, I've learnt a lot. Apart from the qa knowledge (aiya actually no need knowledge also can work de lah. Hahaha) Im slightly better in looking at ppl, as in wat is their agenda in doing certain things. Its pretty scary bt tis is de sad hard fact.
Current studies status: im now taking a break from studying econs (ya I retaking tis module) Im having a bad headache which comes suddenly so decided to rest my brain for awhile. Exams is next wk. Ya im scared (kinda). Perhaps im giving myself too much stress tats why im having tis headache right now. Nowadays im been traveling to np to study. Ya a poly wif all sorts of youngsters. I feel inferior. I wan to be de invisible person tat nobody will notice. I dunno why I hav a fear within me. I been thru poly I noe nobody will giv a fk bout me. Bt I still fear ppl will notice me. I've been studying , practicing n practicing... I really really hope my depleted energy, strength, brain cells n whatsoever will be worth it. I'll jus aim higher n do my best :)
Other status: I saw him at cathay last wk. He walked past me. My 1st reaction was to sae hi to him. I didnt hide or dun wan to hide. I wan to face him. To my surprise, wen I saw him I didnt hav tat fear within me. Im actually okay wen I saw him. Dunno he purposely or really didnt notice me, I didnt feel dejected. Although at the initial 5min I was hoping we can sae hi to each other. Bt after tat I jus continue my conversion wif wanwen. Then I realize smth. I dun miss him anymore. The things I miss are the things we been thru tgt. I miss the good memories I had wif him, bt not the person anymore. Im relieved :) so next time wen I see him holding a gal's hand, I might actually feel happy for him. To me, he is still special, he is still de nice guy. The onli difference is tat I can finally declare tat I hav actually got over him :)
Im 24 tis yr. Im learning alot things outside textbook. Frankly speaking, I dun lik it. I still prefer the simple world tat I prefer n wan to hav. Bt tis is life, nobody will consistently giv u sweet in life. Mayb the least I can do is tat I dun giv ppl any bitterness in their life (trying lah) haha
I wan to do sooooo many things after exam. Ya lah I feel so trapped during tis period. I wan to do hiking, baking, running, gymnming, slacking haha. Actually I jus wan to be happy, do things tat will make me happy.
My current goal: stay happy, live happily :D
i am who i am
4:46 PM
2/11/2013
Had massage n real food wif sh :) finish watching 志在四方. Such a nice show. Local productions gt hope agn! Lols
Talked to sh. I understand everyone hav their own prob. We all need comfort zone. We all need someone tat can jus be ourselves vent out all the rubbish we encounter. Haha fortunately for me I hav many many comfort zones :)) <3
Actually I've been studying for almost 2 mths. Not fast not slow. Sometimes, mayb alot of time im thinking whether I wan to continue study or not. Wat will gt me wen I gt the degree. Its so tiring to study part time n working full time. Well nobody sae its easy doing both. Hmm yaI hav a good environment to study bt it seem lik I dun hav de strength to do so. Or mayb its jus excuses. Its so demoralizing wen ur assignment sux. One will nv noe how badly he/she can be wen comes to assignment n exams. Well jus saying :)
Mayb I'll jus sux it up n continue wat im doing ba :) its difficult bt I'll try ba. Sometimes even trying to try is difficult. Wth why am I so so -ve today. Arghhhhh mayb im jus tired ba. Physically tired lahhhhh hahaha
Isaac loh!!!!! 12 more days!!!!! 12 more days till I gt to see u. I miss u. I miss u sooooo badly. Sometimes ur msg n ur call isnt enough. I jus need u to be here, to be by my side. Okay im sticky haha. De onli thing I can do is to psyco myself sae 12 days v fast de. Haha ya lah v fast de lah. Be safe be healthy. Tats de min I wan u to be :) Love u <3
i am who i am
10:01 PM
Tml is de 6th wk of sch. Mgt still okay. Always wanna slp in lecture lol. Maths 1 is torturous!!!!! Will always make me crazy. Arghhhhh. Stupid lecturer always teach so fast. Before I can fully understand 1, he move to 2 already. Tsk tsk. Econs was pretty okay until the recent lecture. Omg de content im gonna study is going to be a madnessssss!! Luckily the lecturer is a good 1 n can underuse better.
Okay. Work. Auntie is on leave. Wheeeee!! So not tat pressurized during work time. Bt 1 more wk left till she's back :( okay shall enjoy while auntie is not around lalala :D without auntie work was pretty manageable wif some help of my colleagues.
Dear dear <3 :) it's been 3+ mths. Not a long period. Bt I feel we've been tgt n been thru for so long already. There's still a lot for us to discover, to conquer n to realize. We are so gonna do these tgt :) He's in Australia now. Yes I miss him. I miss him badly. Dunno how many more days till he's back. Wait until I become giraffe liao. Lols. While he's at overseas, I'll be here waiting n working hard lik a cow. Sometimes really shag shag shaggggg
Sometimes rest day means baking day. Wheeee. Yeahhhh I did some baking today!! Mango cheesecake. Im pretty satisfied of the taste :D texture wise hmmm room for improvements. Hahaha. Mayb banana chocolate muffin will be my next bake. ( requested by sunshine boy) woohoo. Hahaha
Tml mon. Dun wan to workkkkkk :( Jus hope everything will be fine :)
Okay. Im slpy. Old already. Needa or gonna slp early which I doubt so. Haha
Missing dear dear in action :)
i am who i am
11:45 PM
Sunday night now. Tml needa work. Sianzzzzz Jus send resume to another company. Hope seriously I can gt some good news.
I've been sending out resumes to companies bt haiz im still stuck at my current job, under my stupid boss. Sucky sucky life.
Sch is starting. Actually im really v worried, v v worried bout it. Bt haiz jus let it come ba. 既来之，则安之 :)
Bt however, life isnt onli bout the dark clouds and rain. After sucky things, there will be rainbow waiting for me. 雨后的彩虹是最美的 :)
Im so glad I hav another rainbow always be by my side. I like u, I really really like u. Isaac loh, I love u :))
Dear, rest well and recover soon. Be healthy n joker agn :P Love u :D
i am who i am
11:46 PM
A wk after my holiday from bkk. Things are catching up slowly. Normal and routine work life is coming back. Im, still waiting for calls for my job search.
Went for inspection wif colleague today. Attended complaints, gradings n inspections as usual. Arghhhhhh those stupid complaints make me felt ultimate irritated. How can ppl simply jus push things to the other party. Guess its de trend nowadays ba. Haha ( pathetic laugh)
Kkz I was affected, not slightly, not deeply bt I was affected. Lol I felt tat my heart sank. As I was heading back home, walking to the bus stop from office. I was listening to 冲上云霄 2 theme song. It was so motivational so inspirational. I couldnt control myself. Tears jus flowed from my eyes, uncontrollably.
I dunno why. Mayb I felt tat I hav everything now. I dun guarantee how my life will be lik in the future. Or mayb in 1+ mth time wen I start sch.
I jus felt tat I hav my family wif me :)
My frends wif me :)
I hav a stable income :) (although I cant wait to leave now bt I still hav some lovable colleagues :) )
I hav a bf whom I really enjoy his company :)
Its lik im so blessed now. Im so blessed wif all the things I hav :)
:)
i am who i am
12:15 AM
